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How making new mummy friends is like picking up in a bar

Our eyes meet across the damp, cobbled street. I smile shyly, admiring the shiny Bugaboo she pushes in front of her with confidence and determination. “Could she be the one?” I ask myself, giving this potential new friend the once over. I notice her Pink Lining changing bag, like mine but in red. “Promising” I whisper, “Very promising”. She returns my smile. “I’m in there!” I exclaim internally. “Say something Hannah, just say something, anything!” But before I can think of an ice-breaker to begin our new mummy friendship she is gone in a whirlwind of pram, leaving behind the sweet, calming scent of baby wipes entwined with hazelnut latte. 

Our Health Visitor came over last week for our six week check. Whilst she was here I asked about the postnatal group that they run for new Muttis in the area. We moved house just under a month before I had Busby, so I don’t know anyone in the town and am feeling quite lonely. It doesn’t help that I’m the first in my group of girlfriends to have a baby, and there’s only so much you can talk about general baby stuff to friends without children before they write you off as boring and a lost cause. Anyway, my Health Visitor took it upon herself to give me some, what I would deem, “new Mutti dating advice”; that is, she told me all of the places in our town to pick-up a new Mutti friend. The “new Mutti hotspots”. But I can’t go into these places and start chatting to women randomly, can I?? Surely they hang around in packs?? I can’t approach a pack! Not without having consumed some form of alcoholic beverage (or 5) beforehand. 

So what should I do? I’m hoping the postnatal group will be a good place to meet people. Hopefully no one will know each other and it will be the case that we’re all flung into this group together… Although I hate those forced situations where everyone is trying to make friends; competing to be the funniest, or loudest, or most outgoing, or in this case, the best mum. I guess I just have to stop being so nervous and go for it.

I wonder whether it really will be like dating? You search and search for someone, and then when you’re ready to give up and start enjoying the single life, two come along at once. Kind of like buses.
Hannah 

8 Comments

  1. Julia Edwards

    12th February 2013 at 9:56 pm

    Oh this didn’t half make me smile!! Great post it really is πŸ˜‰ Good luck on the quest for some mummy friends πŸ˜‰ I only ever find one and she was from our NCT course (was the best thing that came out of that!). Did make another at a music group but we seem to have lost touch?! I too am the first of my friends to have a little one, can be a bit lonely at time…thank goodness for Twitter xx

    1. Hannah

      13th February 2013 at 11:23 am

      Thank you πŸ™‚ Twitter is currently my saviour! xx

  2. Corinna Pool

    13th February 2013 at 7:40 am

    I’ve met people through a baby massage course (but we’ve since moved house so they’ve gone!) and the children and family centre. There groups are only £1 so it’s cheap too πŸ™‚ Easier with a toddler though, the baby groups are a bit sit in a circle and talk about how wonderful everything is and how amazing little Edward is at lifting his head. Eugh.

    1. Hannah

      13th February 2013 at 11:24 am

      To be fair, Bea’s pretty good at lifting her head πŸ˜‰

  3. Mummy Plum

    13th February 2013 at 11:33 pm

    The postnatal group will be a great place to start :0)

    Do you have a Surestart centre in your town? They often run baby massage classes or sing songs and are a good place to meet other Mums. Baby swimming classes are always a good place to get chat going as it takes ages for mum and baby to get dry so often the conversation gets going then, and invariably it’s the same people every week.

    Alternatively would you consider starting something yourself? The local NCT here runs ‘speedbumps’ in Starbucks which is a fairly informal meet and greet and easy to replicate. Just put a notice up on a board and see what happens?

    Being a Mum can be very isolating and lonely at times. I don’t find it easy to talk to new people but babies kind of give you that excuse. Be bold and just ask for people’s numbers. A few Mum’s have done that to me in the past and one of those Mums is now a really good friend. x

    1. Hannah

      14th February 2013 at 11:03 pm

      Thank you for your comment lovely πŸ™‚

      I’ve thought about starting something myself and using Twitter as a platform – just need to find those mums!

      We’re going to be starting baby swimming “Little Dippers” soon once we know what’s going on with Bea’s hernia.
      xxx

  4. Harrovian Mama

    16th February 2013 at 9:37 pm

    Ah I just found your blog and I love it! Your daughter is such a cutie! I completely sympathise with this post-it is SO hard to make mummy friends. I had my daughter at 23 and I was the first of my friends too, now at 26 I am still the only one with children. I have really had to put myself out there in order to meet people. It is hard but I now have one or two playdates a week, it is great to get out and have some adult conversation!

    Fabulous blog, I am a new follower for sure!

    Newbie blogger, blogging about life with two aged 2 and under at http://www.samandasha2.blogspot.com

    1. Hannah

      17th February 2013 at 11:46 am

      Hi there!

      It sure is tricky…!

      Thanks for your lovely comment πŸ™‚ and thanks for following xx

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