“I’m pregnant!” I exclaimed excitedly to my friend down the phone.
“Oh. So when are you getting married?” was the reply.
Yup. I know. I was shocked by the response. Pretty peed off by the response if I’m completely honest. It was 2012, not 1912.
I’m aware it wasn’t just one person who felt like this; I noticed the uncomfortableness in a number of friends. The slightly disapproving looks when I discussed my pregnancy or rubbed my growing bump. I was aware of the texts that were sent backwards and forwards behind my back: “OMG! Hannah’s pregnant!” “I know! And they’re not even getting married first!”. Shock. Horror. I expected this kind of behaviour from my grandparents, but we’re in our mid-twenties… in the 21st Century, living in a society where Apple seems to be the most followed and practised religion! Do the Apple Geniuses teach that having a child out of wedlock is immoral? No, I didn’t think so.
Yes, I would’ve preferred to be married before starting a family; but this is more because I didn’t want children at our wedding (and now I can’t really ban them) rather than anything else. Busby was a very welcome surprise, and although we briefly discussed the idea of a shotgun wedding, there were too many reasons why not to: I didn’t fancy rocking up the aisle in an empire-line gown and huge bump, for one. I want to drink at my wedding! I want to eat smoked salmon and paté! I don’t want to look like I’ve eaten the whole five-tiered cake, and polished it off with a wheel of brie!
We’re engaged now – and don’t get me wrong – I can’t wait to marry Nick. But we’re not getting married because we’ve had a baby, just as he didn’t propose to me because I was pregnant. We’re getting married because we love each other, because we want to spend the rest of our lives together. The proposal would have happened even if we hadn’t had Little Miss Busby on the way.
Oh well, I’ve never been one to conform. I’m in a loving, and extremely happy relationship, we have a gorgeous, healthy little baby girl; there’s not much else I could wish for really! Except for maybe a horse…and a Pacapod…and a lottery win?!
ps I would just like to add that this post does not apply to those with actual religious beliefs. The large majority of my friends and family are not religious in anyway – unless the religion is Apple (see above).
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