Closing the wedding magazine with a long sigh, she threw it on the floor: “I’m never going to get married,” she thought sadly, “I need to take out a mortgage to afford anything in this magazine.”
To those of you who may not know; we’re getting married next year. Woop! Now the whole “being-pregnant-thing” and newborn haze is over, we have finally reached the point where we can start looking for venues and planning our big day.
*Cue excited, high-pitched squeal!*
I’ve been reading wedding magazines for about four years now; my obsession with them began when I decided I wanted to be a Wedding Planner, that never happened, but I still continued to lust over the gorgeous gowns, the mouth-watering cakes, and dreamt of honeymooning in Mauritius.
Then I got engaged.
I started to look at wedding magazines from a realistic point of view. And I have an awful habit of comparing prices to our rent or monthly income… I’ve already covered the insanity of wedding prices in my post here, but seriously, who can afford to get married?! Is everyone (except for Nick and I) rich enough to spend £21,000 on a big party? That’s what I’ve gathered from the wedding magazine. Damn NHS wages.
Now, when Nick finds me reading a magazine in bed, he tentatively approaches me, waiting for the next outraged outburst of disbelief: “£700 for a cake?! That’s almost a months rent! WHO can afford to spend £700 on a CAKE?! It better be the best bloody cake I’ve ever eaten for £700!”
The part that really got me ranting (yes, I know – we haven’t even got the bit that made me maddest!) was the Make & Do section. I was so excited when I saw this appear in the magazine: “Finally,” I thought “Something relevant, cheap, and crafty that I can get my teeth into.” Oh, how wrong I was. There is nothing low on budget about this section of the magazine. Unless the definition of low on budget is now “spend a ludicrous amount of money on craft supplies so you can be cool and arty”.
Don’t get me wrong, I understand that the main point of the magazine is to sell you products, but it would be nice to see a real wedding with a budget of £6000, a thrifty craft section that is actually thrifty and not just “We spent £1000 on supplies for favours, and then had to make them all too; we’re so creative, awesome and RICH.” Oh, and you know what? I’d love to see a slightly chubbier bride or two (but don’t get me started on that issue… we’ll be here all weekend!)
When I reach the end of a wedding magazine I feel poor, sad and fat. I’ve come to the conclusion that they are written as a tease; to make you feel bad about not having lots of money to
waste spend on one day of your life. It may well be one of the happiest days of your life – but after giving birth and holding my baby in my arms for the first time, I can’t really think of anything that could possibly beat that on the happiness scale.
I can’t stop reading them though.
It’s an addiction.