Separation Anxiety: A Mother’s Tale
We’re off to Cambridge this weekend for a wedding, and we’re leaving Busby overnight for the first time in her existence on this earth. My Mutti will be moving in for the weekend, and I know they’ll both be fine with the situation.
But I’m not sure I will be.
Yesterday was the first time I left Busby alone with anyone other than Nick in a long time. As I said goodbye I shut the door, and my heart physically ached. I wanted to cry.
I missed her.
Even though she was only on the other side of the door, I missed her.
As this weekend approaches I have mixed feelings; on the one hand I cannot wait to spend the weekend away with Nick, to stay in a hotel (a rather fancy hotel at that), to have a whole night of sleep, and perhaps, dare I say it, a lie in?! Adult conversation, a lovely glass of fizz (or two), and a silly boogie with my best friend…
However, the other side of me is dreadfully worried: How will Busby cope without me? How will I cope without her? Will I spend the entire weekend texting my Mutti to see how she’s doing? What if her tummy plays up and only my cuddles will soothe her? What if something awful happens to her? What if something awful happens to us?
In truth, I don’t want to leave her. But I know I have to. I know I have to start “letting her go” to a certain extent. My role isn’t to control her, to smother her, it’s to help her grow into a beautiful, kind human-being.
But it’s hard.