Motherhood

Anxiety and Clarity

Yesterday was a very anxious day.

One of those days where you don’t really fancy leaving the house. 
Where you’d quite like to curl up underneath the duvet and wish the day away.

Where you’d happily sob in the darkness and safety of your bedroom until you felt better. 

But you can’t because you’re a parent. 
You have to be jolly. And responsible. And fun. It’s tough. 
When I’m feeling anxious I want to shut myself away. 
Dwell. 
Examine. 
Dissect. 
But you don’t have the time to do that when you’re a parent. Every peaceful moment of solitude is shattered with a cry, a book placed on your lap, or a bell jingled in your face. 
Then, in a moment of despair, when you think that you cannot cope with the butterflies dancing and looping in your stomach any longer, your baby sees you looking sad, crawls over and gives you a cuddle. She hands you her bunny and says “Ma”. 
That is the moment of clarity. When you realise that, really, all that matters is this little person and the big person you made her with. 
Sometimes love truly is all you need. 
Hannah
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5 Comments

  1. hannah rosalie.

    25th January 2014 at 8:34 am

    I suffer from anxiety and I hate it. I agree fully with you, love is all you need to get through it.
    (I also sometimes hide under my quilt and my boyfriend will come under there with me and we will just lie silent)
    Great post lovey! Hope your feeling less anxious today!
    H xox
    https://www.bloglovin.com/blog/11580441/hannah-rosalie

    1. Hannah

      26th January 2014 at 10:36 pm

      Oh gosh the lying in silence sounds blissful right now!

      Thank you xx

  2. Franglaise Mummy

    25th January 2014 at 10:43 pm

    Hugs. Being a mum is so hard sometimes, but there are so many heart-melting moments like the one you describe here xx

  3. youbabymemummy.com

    26th January 2014 at 10:16 am

    I tried to respond to this yesterday, but my phone ate my post. It is so hard isn’t it to be ‘up’ all the time for the little one, when you just want to be quiet, preferably in bed under the duvet. I struggle sometimes with this. I was diagnosed with PND in Oct and share your feelings. Like you I always try to think how lucky I am and those smiles from our daughters can help when you are low. I hope you feel a little better now xx

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