An AWOL Best Man // Amy from & Then There Were Four

The last guest post while we’re away on Honeymoon is from lovely Amy who blogs at & then there were four… she talks about the secret night her husband-to-be had the night before their wedding!

When I married Mr L, I was 14 weeks pregnant so my Hen “Party” consisted of a meal (and drinks for every one else!) at a local Italian. Mr L had a slightly more exciting Stag Party – think go-karting, drinking at his sisters pub and a night on the town that ended up in him coming home absolutely legless at 5am after telling me he’d be home for midnight at the latest. Needless to say I was less than impressed, but to be fair, he had his Stag Do well before the wedding and so it wasn’t going to affect the day.

Fast forward to the 19th November 2010 – the day before we were due to get married; I was staying at my bridesmaids house and Mr L was staying at home. He was going for “a pint” with his brother-in-law to the local pub. I wasn’t worried in the slightest as brother-in-law wasn’t a massive drinker and neither is Mr L in the right company (he’s very easily led bless him!). I went to bed early as a pregnant bride needs EXTRA beauty sleep when she has morning sickness (turned out to be Hypermesis Gravidarium) and wedding nerves. Mr L promised he would be home for 10 and that was that. The morning after, we didn’t speak – I didn’t have time and I didn’t think Mr L would either (turns out he wasn’t even AWAKE).

We weren’t getting married until 4pm but obviously had to be at the venue early. My sister-in-law turned up with our niece Rheanna who was our flower girl and asked if I knew where her brother was. Panic set in because he was SUPPOSED to be with her husband. A quick phone call (or ten) revealed he was still in bed dead to the world and hadn’t heard the knocking on the door for him. He wasn’t late but he wasn’t ready either. Not only did I have ridiculous morning sickness and nerves, I now had to worry about my husband to be actually turning up on time.

4pm came and went, we got married in front of all our friends and family. I didn’t throw up walking down the aisle (thankfully) and I looked pretty damn good, even if I do say so myself! It was a civil ceremony, but it was perfect – just what we both wanted. We had the photos taken and then people mingled whilst the room was set up ready for us to sit down for speeches. Mr L and his best man Simon were really nervous about the speeches – so much so Simon had gone MISSING! He was nowhere to be seen. Thankfully I was blissfully unaware of the “situation” myself – too busy being told how beautiful I looked (I completely revelled in this!!!) and chatting with our guests to even notice the Best Man had gone AWOL.

We sat down before the meals and speeches took part. Mr L started the speeches, he thanked everyone for coming and kept it very short and sweet. Then followed my father-in-law, Paul, who gave a really lovely speech that was completely unprepared! And finally it was the turn of the Best Man…who I then realised was NOT at the table. I scanned the room and he was nowhere to be seen. For some reason, my sister-in-law Sharon stood up with a piece of paper in her hand and a red look on her face. Before she spoke, she shot me an apologetic look, one I will never forget…

“Ladies and gentlemen, I would like to apologise on behalf of my husband Simon, the best man as he has had to leave the party early”

It turns out the brother-in-law and husband who aren’t massive drinkers had been out until around 5am that very morning drinking all manner of concoctions at the local pubs! Simon was hungover! When I saw him for the photos, I presumed his pale and weakened look was pure nerves about giving a speech in front of loads of people. I could not believe my ears when Sharon announced he had gone home hungover…he had to be put in a taxi and put to bed by his sister who luckily lives just a few doors away from them. Not before embarrassing himself falling in and out of the taxi, house and up the stairs before having to be stripped by his sister. It would seem he was still hammered from the night before!

Everyone looked at me for my reaction – probably expecting a look of disappointment mixed with sheer anger – they actually found me giggling my head off that he had to be carted off because he was so beer poorly! Sharon gave an absolutely fantastic speech on behalf of Simon and it worked so much better BECAUSE he wasn’t there. Hilarious really!

Every time our wedding is brought up, we like to dig at Simon a little and remind him of how he is the best WORST man ever!

Despite his disappearance we had a fantastic day and night and memories that will last us a life time!

Amy tweets as @MammaLewis.

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