Pregnancy // The End Game

end of pregnancy

As my pregnancy draws to an end I am in a state of flux; I can’t wait to meet this little man whom I’ve grown for the past nine months – to hold him, to feed him, to love him totally and utterly, but at the same time I’m scared and a little sad.

I’m scared that I won’t have enough love to go round – how can my heart fit anymore love inside when it is filled so completely with Busby and Nick?

I’m scared that I won’t be able to manage with two children by myself in, what is still, a relatively unknown place to me.

I’m scared that my PND will rear its ugly head.

I’m scared that Busby will feel neglected or rejected; she’s had all of our attention for two and a half years now – it will be very difficult for her to adjust.

I’m sad that I won’t be pregnant anymore. I may grumble and moan about how uncomfortable I am…

How I feel like a whale.

How I can’t sleep for more than two hours without a pee.

How I long to be back in clothes that don’t have an inbuilt piece of elastic or jersey in them…!

But I do love being pregnant; I love feeling this little life kicking inside of me.

And although this pregnancy has been a lot more difficult than Busby’s in some respects (pregnancy hangover – yuck!), I have definitely enjoyed it more because I have appreciated what it is to be pregnant: What a blessing it is to grow a life inside you.

I have appreciated it more because I know that it will come to an end… and that I will miss it desperately.

So while half of me is wishing it would all be over; longing to hold this gorgeous bundle of baby in my arms for the first time. The other half of me is yearning for one more kick, one more Midwife appointment to hear his little heartbeat, one more night of pregnancy.

Hannah

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Linking up to Blog Bump Club with Great North Mum, Maternity Matters with Ghostwriter Mummy, and Maternity Mondays with Becoming a Stay at Home Mum

5 Comments

  1. 19th June 2015 / 7:23 am

    This is wonderful! I can so relate to this post. Being pregnant second time round has definitely been a whole lot more emotional for so many reasons, I have so many more fears and worries……yet at the same time it’s still so wonderful and so exciting.
    Urgh pregnancy hormones are definitely one thing I will not miss!!!

  2. 19th June 2015 / 10:13 pm

    I think I can relate to nearly every word in this post. I definitely appreciate pregnancy much more this time, and it’s been so much harder! I know I’ll miss it as soon as its gone though, just like the first time haha xx

  3. 22nd June 2015 / 4:47 pm

    It is a funny old mixture of emotions at the end of your 2nd pregnancy isn’t it? I can relate to a lot of your feelings and I wont say life with 2 is easy, it certainly has it’s challenges! But I have loved LM every bit as much of her older brother and though I do feel sorry for Monkey at times with our attention on her, for the most part he has taken it in his stride. Plus there are such lovely moments between them already that I know the positives will far outweigh the negatives! Sorry for the over-long comment! Thanks for linking with #MaternityMondays xx

  4. 22nd June 2015 / 7:49 pm

    Pregnancy brings such a mixture of emotions doesn’t it. Now that my son is 14 weeks old I can safely say there is always enough love to go around. I do not miss being pregnant at all but I do miss those movements and mummy/baby moments that only we can have-talking and stroking my huge bump, I was so desperate to get him out at the end that I forgot to enjoy those final couple of weeks. #maternitymondays

  5. 2nd July 2015 / 6:25 pm

    I hear ya! I was so gutted not to see the end of my last pregnancy… but I know that the baby cuddles are more than worth it in the end. I do miss being pregnant sometimes but I’m definitely done now!! Beautiful post. Thanks for linking up to #MaternityMatters x x

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