Well, we’re 32 weeks into the land of sleep deprivation here at Make, Do & Push! HQ, and the insanity continues! It’s been seven and a half long months of gaining dependencies (coffee), talking gibberish, and walking into rooms and wondering why on earth we entered said room.
I’m beginning to think of myself as a seasoned professional in the land of sleep deprivation. Perhaps I’ll hold seminars and classes for fellow desperate parents in the months to come… But for now I have a few (tongue-in-cheek) ways to help with the pain:
1. Drink dangerous amounts of caffeine. You may be shaking, but at least you’re awake, yes?! Excuse my twitching eye…
2. Binge-shop Motherhood-inspired sweatshirts at 3am. Here are three appropriate ones I’m after… as if the bags under my eyes and inability to hold a conversation didn’t give the game away.
3. Moan on social media. There’s always someone around to give you Mumpathy and make you realise you’re not the only one that has birthed a sleep-stealing child. Repeat after me: You are not alone.
4. Compose love songs to sing to your coffee, using the tunes from theme songs of popular CBeebies’ television shows. This is my favourite one below, lovingly sung to a Costa cup, because I’m addicted to their gingerbread lattes, even though it’s no longer Christmas.
5. Go for a walk. The fresh air is magical and you can usually find somewhere to buy coffee. Also, your child might actually fall asleep, so find a park bench and have a snooze too. Or eat cake and Instagram the experience.
6. Surround the sleep stealer with age appropriate toys, switch on CBeebies, and retreat to the kitchen to eat a whole tub of mini flapjacks and consume a large, hot cup of tea. He can’t crawl yet, so he can’t follow you. If anything you’re helping his development by encouraging him to move to you…
7. Dress the offending culprit in adorable, hilarious baby-wear, so all you can do is laugh
mockingly lovingly. Because if you can’t laugh at the situation, then what can you do?