Motherhood // 9 signs your velcro-baby has powered up to a super-glue baby
H-Bear has always been a velcro-baby; his favourite place to snooze is on me – day and night – and if I’m in sight (but he’s not being held by me) then he’ll try and launch himself out of unsuspecting arms… but more recently he seems to have powered up Pokemon-style into a super-glue baby!
Here are the 9 signs that your baby has joined the stage after velcro:
1. The list of activities you can do one-handed is increasing by the day. Peeling and chopping potatoes with one hand? Easy! Brushing your teeth, hair and applying make-up with one hand? Basic! Getting dressed with one hand? I’m glad no one is watching this… well, except for the baby in my other hand.
2. You never have the bed to yourself. Even when your Husband is away with work. And the baby still seems to take up two-thirds of the bed. And then you find, when you do have a rare couple of hours to yourself, that you can’t nap because the bed feels so cold and empty.
3. On the nights following the days you’ve been working, or away from the baby, you find that baby stays awake with you until your bedtime; smiling charmingly at you and crawling onto your lap at every given chance. Then, when you put him down to sleep, he proceeds to grumble until you bring him into bed with you. Where he sleeps with a smile on his face, snuggled up in your arms.
4. Bath time is a little different to how you envisaged it would be… Your baby is not content with you cleaning them from the dry side of the bath. Oh no! You have to be in the bath with them too, otherwise they scream and cry until they’re in your arms again.
5. You wonder why you ever bothered buying a pushchair… and always take the sling with you in the basket, because you will inevitably need it.
6. You have become an expert at staying out of sight when your partner or relative is looking after, or doing an activity, with the baby. You have developed stealth moves that would rival any ninja.
7. Sex just doesn’t happen anymore… Nor do straight-up cuddles. It’s like your baby knows exactly when your partner pulls you in for a kiss, even when baby was supposedly fast asleep, and initiates the powerful “I have been abandoned” cry.
8. Once they’ve mastered crawling they realise that they can follow you around… so you escape upstairs for a moment of peace… but then they tackle the stairs with a huge triumphant smile on their face. At least you’re helping their development?!
9. You spend nap times with a baby strapped to your chest, gently rocking so baby stays asleep, whilst writing “9 signs your velcro-baby has powered up to a super-glue baby”.