I’ve been the proud owner of two munchkins for almost twenty months now, and it’s been quite the ride.
The first year of having two children was hard. In fact, I would go so far to say that it was quite possibly the hardest year of my life.
The incessant loneliness of living in a new area, crippling anxiety, and a poorly baby who screamed all day and never slept due to his undiagnosed silent reflux and allergies didn’t exactly help matters… But I found the transition incredibly difficult too.
To go from one child, who you could easily take anywhere and everywhere without much fuss, to two children – one of which needs you entirely 24/7 was tough. The independence I had begun to regain was taken away.
Every small task felt like a mountain to conquer: Two little people to get dressed and fed. Two little people to pack a bag for. Two little people to get out of the house.
It was daunting.
But now? Now, it’s amazing.
When I watch Busby and H-Bear play, cuddle and laugh together, I forget how hard that first year was. They are a joy. Each one blossoming from their love. The sibling bond that grows every day.
Of course they bicker – especially over toys.
H-Bear is the biggest wind-up merchant around, and will purposely take Busby’s favourite toy, or even her water, and parade it in front of her until she notices… which then results in a tug of war, and usually ends with “Muuuuuummmmmmy! That’s mine! He stole my toy again!”
But even with the fights and disagreements, it’s the most wonderful thing to behold.
And life is easier as a parent of two. Now they are older, you are not constantly in demand as you are with one. They entertain each other: Play together. Dance together. Sing together.
This means you can (sometimes) get on with things. Although I’ve realised there’s no point tidying around them, as within ten minutes the cushions are back off the sofa, the throws are on the floor, and there is another breadstick trodden into the rug…
In parenting two you take on new roles. Roles you wish you could add to your LinkedIn profile, because you’d definitely be able to secure a job at the UN. I’m now a: Delegator. Peacekeeper. Custodial Lawyer (of Toys).
My patience has increased. As has my cake consumption. I think these two things might be related…
Some aspects continue to be difficult; I’m still working on balancing the attentions of both. Busby is fiercely independent, but occasionally (usually when she’s tired) she loves a cuddle. H-Bear is a cuddle fiend and would be attached to me permanently if he could. So making sure both children feel loved, and have had enough time with me is always a struggle. If only I could split myself in half?
The first year was Them vs Us, but now the dust has settled and peace has been made. We are a gang. And it rocks.
Do we dare rock the boat with a third?