H-Bear turns two in just over two weeks time, and I have to admit that I’m only just starting to mentally process the first year of his life.
I feel like I lost the Baby Days with him. That I was cheated out of them. That Silent Reflux stole them from me.
I put up walls and blocked out memories to try and cope. To try and grasp some light in the wilderness. To try and convince myself that it wasn’t all bad.
But, when all your baby does is scream 24/7.
When you’re suffering from extreme sleep deprivation because you haven’t slept for more than a three hour block a night (if you’re lucky) in 10 months.
And when you reach the point where you can’t even leave the house anymore, because you’re too terrified of being judged for having such an ‘unhappy’ baby.
What else can you do? [Read more…]