The First Trimester is never a walk in the park, and I’ve discovered over the past few months that it’s even more difficult with a Toddler in tow…
1. Dealing with dirty nappies whilst suffering from morning sickness is the worst form of torture known to womankind. There’s nothing quite like an especially messy poonami to make you feel even better! Top tip: it’s a good idea to keep a bowl or bucket next to the changing mat. Just in case.
2. After never showing an interest in jumping on you before, your Toddler is suddenly drawn to your newly-rounding stomach area as a potential trampoline. With the terrible twos on the horizon, she will then throw an epic tantrum when you refuse to let her jump on your bump.
3. Your Toddler will threaten to drop naptime just when you need it the most, and tease you with a Will I? Won’t I? scenario… until she finally conks out at 5pm. Just in time for dinner.
4. The unborn child growing in your stomach suddenly decides that tea is off the menu… just as your Toddler decides that midnight raving is fun again.
5. A fit of Toddler crying provokes your fragile emotional state into sobbing too. Cue your Husband arriving home from work to find the two of you crying your eyes out… and promptly making himself a large G&T before dealing with the pair of you… which results in more hysterical crying from you. Because you can’t have a G&T.
6. Your Toddler catches all manner of spotty viruses from Nursery, which results in panicked Googling of spot size and symptoms to see whether you should keep your distance from your firstborn and ask the Husband to take Carers leave, or whether you’re allowed to comfort them, spend the day watching CBeebies snuggled up on the sofa, and administering the calpol.
7. You kept your pregnancy a secret from everyone but your parents when you had your firstborn, but you’re thankful for a handful of close Mummy friends knowing this time round; they understand, they’re more than happy to indulge in a Mummy/Toddler lunch date at the same restaurant three weeks running due to cravings, and they won’t judge you (too much) if you pinch their gherkins at lunch, or if you order the most bizarre pizza topping combination…!
8. Your television viewing is rather different this time round, and will leave your fragile emotional state more susceptible to pregnancy tears. Captain Jack’s Christmas special, for example, is bound to make you sob… and don’t even get me started on The Snowman and the Snowdog.
9. Your Toddler takes everything you say literally, which means Baby Brain + Toddler aren’t a match made in harmony… Saying to your Toddler “the cakes are in the fridge” when you meant “oven” will result in a very confused little face. Unless you did put them in the fridge to bake. Which, when suffering from Baby Brain, is entirely possible.