Ah 21 weeks… you have been full of ups and downs! Let’s begin with the positive! Nick and I had a wonderful time away on our Babymoon – the food was plentiful and AMAZING, my pregnancy massage was divine, and we managed to almost relax, which is not something I do well. We probably could have done with another couple of nights to ultimately chill, especially after the Consultant appointment on Tuesday (see below)!
This week Peppercorn is the size of a big banana, and he’s back to kicking and squirming away! In fact, he gave an almighty kick in the bath on Tuesday night which made the water ripple and I swear I saw my stomach move. Nick felt him move on Thursday night, which you can read about here.
I had my Consultant appointment on Tuesday, which the Midwife had assured me was just standard procedure following my family history, and that if the heart had been fine at the 20 week scan then we would be discharged and all would be looking good for a home birth. Hmm, if only. Firstly, the Consultant had no idea why we were there so I had to explain it to her, then she decided it would be best to refer us to the foetal cardiology department at Leeds… although she wasn’t sure whether they would want to scan me or not, and the HCA couldn’t find the “piece of paper” this protocol was written on, so they went ahead and referred anyway (all this with me saying “the sonographer said everything is fine with his heart!” over and over again…) Then she took an interest in the bleeds I’ve been having and pretty much told me off for being blasé and not-overly concerned when I talked about them… “It’s not the same as a nose bleed” apparently (duh! I am more than aware of that!) I’d told her what the Midwife had said to me about not worrying, and she tried to argue. I left with another appointment to see her in six weeks and tears of frustration running down my cheeks. I have this horrible feeling they’re not going to discharge me from consultant care, and I’ll end up being forced into a c-section, which is really not something I want!
Tuesday was capped off with tissue loss and more bleeding! I lost a little bit of grey-pink tissue in the bath that evening, so cue another worried phone call to the out of hours maternity triage midwives, who weren’t too worried and told me to monitor and call back if I lost anymore… All this combined with the Consultant’s words whirring around in my head didn’t really give me much confidence or reassurance.
This week I’ve been craving dairy; it’s been all about the cheese and yoghurts! I experienced one of the most amazing cheese boards of my life on Monday night on our Babymoon – and discovered a new cheese, Oxford Isis, which is divine. We also had an epic cheeseboard on Saturday for Valentine’s Day, which I put together myself – it was made entirely of English cheeses sourced from the local farm shop. Yum! I’ve had a serious hankering for pancakes dripping in lemon and sugar – this craving was fulfilled on Saturday morning by my amazing Husband, who made me pancakes for an hour to sate the need!
Thankfully, I’ve had no more bleeds since Wednesday afternoon/evening, but I’ve booked an appointment to see the Midwife for next week to have a chat about things. I feel a lot more worried in this pregnancy, and I know I have to chill out because it’s not good for the baby, but I’m finding it very difficult to relax and stop the anxiety. I just want to get settled in our new house and start finding friends in the area before Peppercorn arrives. I’m missing my Sussex support network and our routine down there lots.