I’ve reached that point in the third trimester where I’m dreaming of creamy brie, prosecco and being able to walk properly again… I love being pregnant, and I really hope I get to experience this for a third time (although, with less of the Pregnancy Hangover next time please) but after weeks of not being able to sleep, and with my energy levels currently running on empty, I’ve had my fill for now, so here’s what I’m looking forward to being able to do again, postpartum:
1. Sit on the floor. I remember feeling elated when I realised I could sit, cross-legged, on the floor again after giving birth to Busby. Everyone kept offering me their seats, but I’d always decline as it was such a novelty! This time round the satisfaction will be even greater – I can’t wait to be able to read Busby a story with her on my lap, and not have to switch position every two seconds due to back pain or a baby in the ribs!
2. Sleep. Hahahaha. Ok, maybe not. But at least the short periods of sleep won’t involve being kicked in the ribs, headbutted in the bladder, or punched in the bowel, so the sleep (in theory) should be relatively more comfortable.
3. Walk like a human, rather than waddle like a constipated penguin. Oooooh to be able to walk normally again… Don’t get me started on full bladder waddling; I had a little race with another heavily pregnant lady in The Range at the weekend: who could make it to the toilet first? British politeness won out in the end when we realised we couldn’t both fit through the door at the same time. Damn manners.
4. Consume vast amounts of brie and patê until I look like a wheel of creamy French cheese. I CANNOT WAIT. I’m hoping that the Husband buys me another hamper of “food you haven’t been able to consume for the past nine months” as a Push Gift.
5. Be able to run and play with the Toddler. I’m feeling immense Motherhood guilt at the moment that I can’t be Fun Mummy; my exhaustion threshold is on a very taut thread, and in the moments I forget that I’m carrying a watermelon in my tummy, I’m swiftly brought back down to Earth with a headbutt in the bladder, and regret that I didn’t take Tena up on the opportunity to review some of their range.
6. Stay awake past 10pm. This
probably definitely doesn’t apply to the first three-six months of owning a newborn, but after that I’m looking forward to being able to go on Date Nights with the Husband that last past 9pm…
7. A good ol’ bonk. Without going into too much detail, this pregnancy hasn’t been entirely kind on our newly-wedded sex life, and I think both of us are looking forward to erectifying (sorry) that situation once all the fun, post-giving-birth glamour is out of the way.
8. To be able to bend over without making a sound like a winded badger. I never realised how often the Toddler drops things until the bowling ball bump prevented me from picking up spoons, bricks, pencils etc… Now I want to cry every time I see a crayon roll underneath the sofa, or her fork make its way beneath the table. And I can’t help but make a creaky, resigned groan when attempting to retrieve said item.
9. Not having to Google every new public place we’re visiting to check out the toilet situation. There is nothing worse than being heavily pregnant and needing a wee. Ok, there are worse things; like your waters breaking in Aldi rather than Marks & Spencers, for example. (Years free shopping, y’all!) But entering a new town, or public space, where you don’t know where the nearest toilet is strikes fear in the heart of every pregnant lady, and having to sneak into the nearest Costa to use the loo always seems so naughty…
What are you looking forward to being able to do once you’ve given birth? Or are you at the “I want to be pregnant forever” stage that I was in a mere two weeks ago??