Motherhood // F*ck me, I’ve got children. PLURAL.

I was sitting in our local branch of the popular chain of coffee shops that rhymes with bosta yesterday, child-free, attempting to get some work done while Nick was at home with the children and I realised that Nick was at home with the CHILDREN.




I have two of them.

I am responsible for TWO CHILDREN.


I know I’m a bit slow on the uptake here, considering Indy is coming up to four months old (let’s take a moment there… I mean, what the smurf is that about too?! Four months?! How have four months passed!?!) but I blame the fact that my CHILDREN have eaten my brain.

There we go again: Children. Plural.

I wrote about being hit by the reality bus when I was pregnant with Indy, but yesterday it really struck me hard.

I don’t feel responsible enough to have two children… I mean one is like: “I have a child, but she was a surprise and that’s fine. We’re parents, but we only have one child so we can sort of continue as normal and don’t have to buy a house or anything to accommodate this new person. It’s pretty insane that we grew a person, but hey, that’s the miracle of life.”

However, two is like: “I have children. Plural. And we planned to have one of them. Which is a crazy grown-up thing to do. And I grew two children. Myself. IN MY WOMB. And I birthed two children. Myself. OUT OF MY LADY GARDEN! And now I have to parent them. And think about buying a new car to accommodate ALL the stuff that comes with CHILDREN. Oh, and buggy boards. And wait a cotton picking moment, I have the same amount of children as MY MUM. And I’m a mum. To children. Plural.”

Indy is starting to develop from a small mewing, milk-demanding munchkin, into this no-napping, attention-seeking, little human, and very soon I will have two children shouting at me from upstairs to bring their respective cuddly animals up with me once I’ve made my second fifth cup of tea of the morning, and complaining that they “don’t like sausages anymore” despite that fact that they consumed half a packet of cocktail sausages just yesterday (“I did like them yesterday, but I don’t like them today.”).

Oh golly.

Pass the prosecco, and, um, bring it on?!

If you need me, I’ll be hiding in the larder, secretly eating cake.

In the words of my fictional soul mate, Bridget Jones: “Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck!!!!”


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Ps. You know I’m not usually sweary on here, and I hope it doesn’t offend anyone, I just felt like this post justified it. Plus it’s a quote, so it doesn’t really count. Fact.


  1. Alison
    10th October 2015 / 7:20 am

    This made me smile so much. I’m pregnant with my second child and past experience tells me the same dawning will smash me over the head (all being well) in about six months. I hope I remember this post and that I’m not the only person to birth a second child but take months to realise I have childREN! Oh yikes…!

  2. 10th October 2015 / 11:45 am

    Haha brilliant. I feel a bit like this at the mo. I only have Lottie but I have my own house and a baby and it’s so grown up! Xx

  3. 10th October 2015 / 12:20 pm

    I know my H has moments like that – he turns around sometimes, surveys the brood and says “where DID they all come from!” It’s a side effect of time passing so very very quickly I think 🙂

  4. 10th October 2015 / 11:19 pm

    It’s a crazy moment, isn’t it – that move from having a kid to kids?

  5. 11th October 2015 / 9:25 am

    Haha, I imagine this will be my exact reaction when we eventually get to number two! Though I suppose I should be shocked at being a Mum of 1 but I think it will really hot after number 2. xo

  6. 11th October 2015 / 10:17 am

    Hahaha. My mummy only has me and still has to pinch herself! 😉 it’s strange thing growing up…it never stops. Popping over from FB Love2Blog x

  7. 11th October 2015 / 10:41 am

    Haha in the words of Kris Jenner, ‘2 is like 22’-welcome to the club x

  8. 11th October 2015 / 3:59 pm

    It really is daunting isn’t it. I remember sitting at home after the twins came home and cried because it suddenly hit me how I had 3 children. Hope you are well xx

  9. 11th October 2015 / 4:02 pm

    Ha – welcome to the world of multiples – just wait til you have number 3! 🙂

  10. 11th October 2015 / 4:26 pm

    Ah it is crazy isn’t it! We have been sorting out plans for the wedding and we will have 2 kids then. My mum keeps saying things about looking after the kids and it’s so odd! I can’t get used to it! haha!

  11. 11th October 2015 / 7:11 pm

    Can so relate to this having had our second child nearly 3 months ago. I have found myself thinking a number of times in the past few months that we have CHILDREN and being surprised at the fact, as well as thinking where the hell has the past 3 months gone and that my little newborn is fast becoming a big baby. It still feels unreal that I am a parent and been pregnant once let alone being a parent to two children.

  12. 11th October 2015 / 7:52 pm

    This made me laugh! I am feeling like this at the moment as my husband is away and Im solo. x

  13. 11th October 2015 / 8:51 pm

    Aww This made me smile. i always get moments like this, sometimes i just cannot believe im a mother of 18month twins.. how the heck did that happen!? well i know.. but you know what i mean haha!! Great post:) xxx

  14. 11th October 2015 / 9:36 pm

    I feel like this with one, I don’t feel responsible or grown up enough – it’s very scary!
    I love the photo of your two, they are just adorable!
    Enjoy the cake hehehe

  15. 11th October 2015 / 10:29 pm

    I love this. I had one of these moments at Peppa Pig World today. As I was looking around at parents looking frazzled well before midday I felt sorry for them and then realised I was one of them!! 🙂

  16. 11th October 2015 / 11:25 pm

    hahah this is so funny and relevant for me too. Really witty post. Love xx

  17. 12th October 2015 / 7:31 pm

    This made me laugh so much. I spent much of yesterday afternoon at the kitchen table, sewing name labels into my 2yo’s clothes for preschool and silently freaking out. I remember my own mum sewing labels into my clothes as though it were yesterday for goodness sake – HOW did I end up sat there myself already?!

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