Motherhood // Hello! I’m… back?! (A Poem)

first period poem

Well, hello… hello! What a… surprise?
It’s, um, nice to have you back…?
Apologies for the lack of welcoming parade,
I’m feeling rather crap.
I understand I couldn’t have known
You’d make an unannounced arrival,
But you ruined my favourite pjs,
When you made your spontaneous revival.
You have returned,
Ergo, we can once again procreate,
I’m afraid it won’t be for a while though,
A three-to-four year wait.
I’d forgotten what an inconvenience
You arriving is;
The pain, the mess! Not to mention
The hormones sending me in a tizz!
I won’t lie; I haven’t missed you,
You haven’t been on my mind
Whilst I’ve been growing my little boy,
I left you far behind.
But here you are! You have returned!
And with you the expense,
“Luxury goods”? Not at all,
What a ludicrous pretence!
So off I go to find,
My huge, Bridget Jones style knickers,
And my comfy lounging wear,
And a weeks supply of snickers.
The hot water bottle, the painkillers,
More chocolate for my tea,
If only I could spend the duration in bed,
Instead of having to be “Mummy”.
I’m feeling a little sad now,
And I hope you don’t drag on.
You signify another chapter is now over;
The fourth trimester truly gone,


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  1. 26th November 2015 / 5:55 pm

    Haha, fantastic! I love it!

  2. 26th November 2015 / 9:03 pm

    this is genius. I’m expecting out fourth baby and I am not looking forward to the return of the post-baby Pyjama ruiners!

  3. 27th November 2015 / 9:36 am

    The first few cycles post pregnancy don’t half suck!! The pain is pretty unreal. Plus the expenditure really dips into my zara kids clothing budget… Which is simply, rude! X

  4. 27th November 2015 / 10:42 pm

    Ha this is fab! Periods are such an pain (literally) even more so when you’re done with the baby making thing..

  5. 28th November 2015 / 1:14 pm

    sweet poem! welcome back. i think it is the voice of every mother. thanks.

  6. 29th November 2015 / 1:11 pm

    You missed your calling as a poet, Hannah. This is inspired!

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