Poem // Limbo *Trigger Warning*

missed miscarriage poem

Two weeks to wait.
Not moving; standing still.
Seeing whether you’ll leave naturally,
Or via op, or via pill.

We should have been announcing.
Hearts filled with total glee.
But instead, I sit here sad and quiet,
With a cup of luke-warm tea.

I turned 12 weeks pregnant,
A small bleed? We went in…
“Surely it’s just stretching?” I thought,
My mind began to spin.

Sam Smith on the radio.
Singing about ‘goodbyes’.
“A bad omen?” I wonder.
Praying hard, I close my eyes.

Two different types of ultrasound,
And neither show good news.
The baby stopped developing,
And I am so confused.

I’ve still been feeling nauseous?!
My bump has still been growing?!
I’ve still been craving crazy food?!
How did it stop without me knowing?!

“The hormones”, the kind Nurse tells me.
“That’s why you still feel sick.”
Then she explains lots of things to us,
None of which stick.

I can’t move forward yet,
I still don’t understand.
Six months of trying for you,
This is not the ending we had planned.

As I sit here writing this poem,
My mind is so confused.
One moment I was pregnant,
And now my heart feels bruised.

Feeling useless waiting.
All I can do is cry.
We already loved you so much;
I don’t want to say goodbye.

Hannah

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29 Comments

  1. 3rd October 2017 / 9:11 am

    Oh Hannah, I am so so sorry. Sending big hugs xx

  2. 3rd October 2017 / 9:16 am

    Oh Hannah I’m so sorry, utterly heartbreaking. Sending you so much love and hugs. xx

  3. Amanda
    3rd October 2017 / 9:28 am

    I’m so very sorry Hannah, I hope the next few days and weeks are gentle on you xx

  4. 3rd October 2017 / 10:03 am

    I’m so sorry Hannah, sending all my love x x x

  5. 3rd October 2017 / 10:27 am

    So sorry to hear your sad news. Your poem is raw, emotional and beautifully written. Xx

  6. 3rd October 2017 / 10:31 am

    Oh Hannah darling I’m so very sorry for your loss. Give yourself time to grieve and look after yourself. Sending so much love xxxxxx

  7. 3rd October 2017 / 10:32 am

    Oh Hannah, I’m so sorry, I had no idea. Sending so much love and lots of hugs xxx

  8. Stephanie Lunt
    3rd October 2017 / 11:38 am

    I’m so very sorry to hear this. Lovely words, you have such a beautiful way of expressing your grief. Thinking of you all xxx

  9. 3rd October 2017 / 11:45 am

    I am so sorry!
    Sending love and hugs x

  10. Laura K
    3rd October 2017 / 11:58 am

    ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

  11. 3rd October 2017 / 12:29 pm

    Oh god Hannah I’m so sorry. Sending you all my love sweetheart xx

  12. 3rd October 2017 / 12:32 pm

    Such a beautiful poem for a heartbreaking situation. Wishing you plenty of love and hugs at this difficult time ❤

    • 3rd October 2017 / 9:07 pm

      I’m so sorry Hannah, sending all of the love

  13. 3rd October 2017 / 12:40 pm

    Oh Hannah, i’m sending you so much love. I wish you didn’t have to go through such heartbreak. A missed miscarriage is so confusing. It makes no sense. And it’s so cruel. Lots of love and hugs Lucy xxxx

  14. 3rd October 2017 / 12:52 pm

    Oh Hannah you poor thing. You are not alone. Big hugs to you all xx

  15. Lauren
    3rd October 2017 / 1:06 pm

    Lots of love xx

  16. 3rd October 2017 / 6:01 pm

    I’m so so sorry Hannah. Sending you all lots of love and I wish I could give you a hug xx

  17. 3rd October 2017 / 7:31 pm

    So sorry Hannah. Sending you lots of love x

  18. Kat
    3rd October 2017 / 10:44 pm

    So sorry to hear this Hannah. Sending lots of love to you all. Big hugs xxx

  19. 4th October 2017 / 11:11 am

    Sending you a hug today. It is such confusing and heart-breaking time. I truly wish you were not going through this. Thank you for your bravery to share. I lost a little one at 17 weeks so I understand how the 12 week mark is moment of thinking maybe it will be okay and then the shock it is not. BIG HUG!

  20. 4th October 2017 / 7:41 pm

    So sorry Hannah much love xxxx

  21. 5th October 2017 / 7:54 am

    Oh Hannah I am so sorry huni, there really are no other words except sending lots of love and hugs your way xxx

  22. 5th October 2017 / 2:42 pm

    Oh sweet person, I am so so sorry you are going through this. I can relate to your poem. Lots of love xxx

  23. 5th October 2017 / 11:27 pm

    It’s hard to go through. I’ve had 2 (one at 10 weeks and one at 12 weeks). It’s never easy. You’re not alone even if you feel alone. I just passed the due date for my most recent miscarriage (12 week one) and it’s a hard day too. Sending love!

  24. 6th October 2017 / 10:38 pm

    I am so very sorry. The emptiness is just awful.

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