Today I feel fat. Really round. Like a big fat ball of fatness. I know this is to be expected…I’m seven months pregnant – Bump is due exactly two months today – but I can’t help feel my self-esteem disappear down the plug hole in front of the bathroom mirror of torment. I don’t have amazing self-esteem anyway, and with some of my more mature and sensitive work colleagues (please note I am being sarcastic) coming up with the pregnant nickname of Mr Greedy because my stomach apparently resembles that of the Mr Men character, and I wear a fair amount of pink…you can tell that really cheers me up and makes me feel good about myself.
| At least he’s smiling…! Image from here |
Today’s “fat-episode” started earlier in the hairdressers; I hate having my haircut because I despise having to stare at myself for almost an hour in an unflattering mirror, under the fluorescent lights of shame, whilst some whisp of a woman (or man) stares back at me. Staring at yourself in the mirror for that length of time isn’t a great idea anyway (even for a Hollywood beauty) as you start to notice little things about yourself that you don’t like, but when you’re quite heavily pregnant, wearing the black hairdressers cloak that lacks any body definition, and your skin resembles that of an oily fish it’s not a great sight! My hair looks nice though – so that’s a positive!
It’s our engagement party tomorrow evening, which I am both looking forward to and dreading. I don’t mind being the centre of attention when I feel good about myself – but whilst I’m feeling like the blob from the bottom of the ocean I don’t really want the attention… I’d quite like to just curl up in a ball underneath my duvet and sleep. I want to have photos of me with a Bump for her to look back on in the future, but I just feel so fat that I can’t bear for any photos to exist. Gargh. Is there a way past this? Have you felt like this during pregnancy? Did you hide underneath a rock for nine months until you’d given birth? Otherwise the party is going to be great – I’ve worked hard on the theme and will post some pictures early next week, and I can’t wait to catch up with friends that I haven’t seen for ages! Perhaps I can ban cameras?
I hope you have all have infinitely better and healthier weeks than I have. I’m just getting over the dreaded cold now (and as if on cue *cough splutter cough*) and my voice has almost returned to it’s regular pitch – although I was quite enjoying the sexy, jazz voice! We’ve also found a gorgeous house to rent in Lewes, so we’ll be moving out of Brighton and into our first family home before Bump and Christmas arrive. Very exciting!!! I’m looking forward to setting up her nursery and making cute things!
Have a great weekend all!
Hannah
