Ah 21 weeks… you have been full of ups and downs! Let’s begin with the positive! Nick and I had a wonderful time away on our Babymoon – the food was plentiful and AMAZING, my pregnancy massage was divine, and we managed to almost relax, which is not something I do well. We probably could have done with another couple of nights to ultimately chill, especially after the Consultant appointment on Tuesday (see below)!
This week Peppercorn is the size of a big banana, and he’s back to kicking and squirming away! In fact, he gave an almighty kick in the bath on Tuesday night which made the water ripple and I swear I saw my stomach move. Nick felt him move on Thursday night, which you can read about here.
I had my Consultant appointment on Tuesday, which the Midwife had assured me was just standard procedure following my family history, and that if the heart had been fine at the 20 week scan then we would be discharged and all would be looking good for a home birth. Hmm, if only. Firstly, the Consultant had no idea why we were there so I had to explain it to her, then she decided it would be best to refer us to the foetal cardiology department at Leeds… although she wasn’t sure whether they would want to scan me or not, and the HCA couldn’t find the “piece of paper” this protocol was written on, so they went ahead and referred anyway (all this with me saying “the sonographer said everything is fine with his heart!” over and over again…) Then she took an interest in the bleeds I’ve been having and pretty much told me off for being blasé and not-overly concerned when I talked about them… “It’s not the same as a nose bleed” apparently (duh! I am more than aware of that!) I’d told her what the Midwife had said to me about not worrying, and she tried to argue. I left with another appointment to see her in six weeks and tears of frustration running down my cheeks. I have this horrible feeling they’re not going to discharge me from consultant care, and I’ll end up being forced into a c-section, which is really not something I want!
Tuesday was capped off with tissue loss and more bleeding! I lost a little bit of grey-pink tissue in the bath that evening, so cue another worried phone call to the out of hours maternity triage midwives, who weren’t too worried and told me to monitor and call back if I lost anymore… All this combined with the Consultant’s words whirring around in my head didn’t really give me much confidence or reassurance.
This week I’ve been craving dairy; it’s been all about the cheese and yoghurts! I experienced one of the most amazing cheese boards of my life on Monday night on our Babymoon – and discovered a new cheese, Oxford Isis, which is divine. We also had an epic cheeseboard on Saturday for Valentine’s Day, which I put together myself – it was made entirely of English cheeses sourced from the local farm shop. Yum! I’ve had a serious hankering for pancakes dripping in lemon and sugar – this craving was fulfilled on Saturday morning by my amazing Husband, who made me pancakes for an hour to sate the need!
Thankfully, I’ve had no more bleeds since Wednesday afternoon/evening, but I’ve booked an appointment to see the Midwife for next week to have a chat about things. I feel a lot more worried in this pregnancy, and I know I have to chill out because it’s not good for the baby, but I’m finding it very difficult to relax and stop the anxiety. I just want to get settled in our new house and start finding friends in the area before Peppercorn arrives. I’m missing my Sussex support network and our routine down there lots.
Hannah
So sorry you’ve have had a rubbis time with the consultant appointment, I hope you get away asap! How amazing for that huge kick though, I can’t wait to start feeling them again 🙂 xx
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Thanks so much 🙂 xx
Aww, it does sound like a week of real ups and downs. It’s so hard not to worry at the best of times without health professionals giving you mixed messages. I hope the midwife appointment helps and you get some reassurance. Big hugs x
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I know! And I’ve found that they’re even more mixed in this pregnancy than they have been before… very frustrating! xxx
What a tough week. How confusing to be told different things by everyone you speak to. I’m glad you haven’t had any more bleeds since Wednesday. Hpoefully your midwife appointment will be really supportive. xx
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Thanks lovey - I hope so too xxx
Aww big hugs, hope things get better. xx
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Thanks so much Susan xxx
The mixed messages are SO confusing and frustrating. I’m sorry. Hopefully you won’t need a c section unless there really is an issue. With Matthew, because of my horrible pregnancy and delivery with Emily I was under a consultant care all the way, but still had a relatively easy, low intervention birth. I was in hospital but was ok with that because of what happened previously, but don’t loose hope. Hugs! You don’t need to be worrying I know but enjoying this time!
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Thanks Karen. It’s just so difficult to relax with everything going on at the moment! I’m so much more aware of everything that *can* go wrong with a pregnancy with this one, much more so than I was with Busby (ignorance is certainly bliss when it comes to pregnancy!) that it’s sending my thoughts into overdrive… that teamed with the issues I’ve been having and I’m a bit of a wreck! xxx
I’ve been a lot more worried in this pregnancy too, and I’m under consultant care but for other reasons. It’s difficult when one person is saying not to worry and someone else is sort of saying you should worry, I find a lot of contradictions happen between the midwife and consultant! It’s very frustrating and I hope that you find some peace soon. I’m sure everything will be fine, I’ll be thinking of you and peppercorn.
Oh bless you, what a worry. For what its worth though, nobody can force you into a csection and you are within your rights to refuse to attend any appointments you think are unnecessary, or any procedures you do not want. Just so you know.
I’ll catch up with the rest of your updates soon, hope things are settling down for you now. Thanks for linking up to #MaternityMatters x